Tired of Self-Sabotage?

How many times have you set a beautiful intention for yourself?  A “this year I’ll do it” New Year’s resolution?  And how many times have you actually seen it through to success?  I’m willing to bet your success rate is not as high as you’d like it to be.

Why is that?

Life gets in the way.  You are more comfortable in your good old way of doing things than stretching to the new reality you’re trying to create.  People seem to get in the way with their own plans that throw a off your beautiful intentions.  You get invited to parties and family events that you just can’t refuse – and how to say no to delicious cakes, pasta, wine, gossip, staying up late…  And before you know it – BAM!  Fell off the wagon with not a whole lot energy to get back on.  Maybe next year you’ll do good with your intention or resolution.

And this is when ego lifts up its little finger to its mouth à la Dr. Evil and lets out a throaty laugh of victory.   So what do you do?  Surrender?  Fight back?  Break into a dance like Austin Powers?  (Here’s a short video to inspire you in your evil response strategy.  Comic relief usually works for me!)

What if you could release that inner struggle with ego, what would be possible then?

It’s important to understand the nature of ego: it’s that part of human nature that is hard-wired with the natural fight-or-flight instinct.  Its role is to keep you alive.   When not balanced, it will be over-vigilant in trying to take care of you.  The more you try to overcome it, the more you push it away, the more it will leave in fear.  It will do everything possible (and at times the impossible!) to stop you from changing the status quo. It will create all types of experiences to make you change your mind about your new intention.

I’ve seen all types of examples of ego-induced changes of plans.  Before starting a transformative program or class with me, students develop flu-like symptom and cancel at the last minute.  Having finally decided to set up her Reiki practice, a client accepts to board a family member who will take over the spare bedroom for an unknown length of time.  Car tires get a flat just before a big event.  Ego is very very tricky in making you believe that it’s your choice to quit on yourself, or that you have no other choice than to quit on yourself.

Have you had enough with that inner stress and self-sabotage?  Here’s what I suggest you do: instead of treating your ego as an unwanted villain, treat it like a frightened child.

  • Give your ego a voice.  When you feel stressed about the unknown, or when you feel that your plans are crumbling…  let ego know that you see her, and that you’re ready to listen.  What does she want to say?  What is her fear?  Is she afraid you won’t be able to handle the success, or more money, or independence? Is she afraid that you’ll need to reinvent yourself and that is just too big a task?  Is she afraid you won’t need her anymore?  Listen to what she has to say.
  • Journey within to heal old wounds.  When was the first time you were told that you could not handle change or success or money or good relationships?  Place a hand on your heart and send unconditional love to that part of you.  If you need help in discovering or healing this wounded part of you, reach out to me!  These inner journeys of healing are my specialty!
  • Reassure the frightened part of you.  Remind ego how much you’ve grown already.  Thank ego for her words of advice and alerting you to possible danger or lack of planning.  Take appropriate steps, such as making a plan, completing training, celebrating small victories.  You’ve got this.
  • Give ego something else to do. Ask your ego to be on the lookout for how you can integrate more fruits and veggies in your diet.  Ask to find creative ways to add exercise minutes to your day.  Ask for reminders to add self-love to your day.

Doesn’t this sound and feel so much better than being in constant battle with a natural, normal part of you?

Your invitation:  hop on to my Facebook Page and let me know how you are applying these tips and are making friends with your ego.  I’d love to hear from you!

I’m surrounding you in Love and Light!


PS:  Here’s a previous article that can help you understand the differences between the voice of your ego, and the voice of your Higher Self.